Baby Proofing

The elevator door opened on the sixth floor into a private residence, and immediately two things were clear. #1 I had been a baby proofer on long Island for a few years with a baby proofer on Long Island, but this place was more elegant than any north shore home I had ever been in. This was one of the most beautiful homes in New York City and #2 it was occupied by one of the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Mrs Jones called because she had a one year old daughter and my business specializes in protecting children from accidents in the home. She, being a mother, meant another thing, there was a father and he probably was not to far away. Sure enough seconds later she introduced me to David in her British accent it sounded more like Dyved. David was not the typical Manhattan father I was accustomed to meeting. His shoulder length hair and two different colored eyes (blue and green) all but ruled out hedge fund manager lawyer and doctor, but then how could he afford this place. When the home phone rang and Mrs. Jones answered it, something really strange happened; she told the person on the other line that she had a baby proofer in her home and had to go. You might be thinking what is so strange about that, well, its just not typical of my clientele to be so considerate of my time. By the time I had fished the full consultation we walked through the entire apartment, scoped out the balconys, and ended up in the master bedroom Mrs. Jones had gotten lost along the way but “Dyved” was more attentive and concerned about his daughter’s safety than most fathers I meet on my job. I was explaining to him how children watch their parents and try to emulate everything that they do. Keeping that in mind I reminded him to pay attention to what he does in front of his daughter ie: shaving, taking a daily medication or vitamin, cursing, drinking, and smoking.. I warned him that his daughter seeing him do these things could possibly take a pill found on the floor of someone else’s house, just trying to be like dad. Or, finding a razor at grandma and Grandpa’s and attempting to shave her legs like mommy does in the shower. Dyved looked terrified for a moment and thought his wife should here this suggestion as well and called out to her in the next room. “Iman” In an instant it came to me I was standing inches from David Bowie. Ziggy Stardust, the man who has the ability to sell out Madison Square Garden and command the attention of thousands was now himself solely fixed on my next word. I managed to hold my excitement in and made it through without looking like a crazed stalker and without asking for an autograph/picture.. http://www.babyproofernewyork.com/